* When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
* Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
* When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
* Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
* Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
* If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
* Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
* The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
* When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
* When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

* On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
* In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
* Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
* Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
* Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
* If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
* Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
* It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
* James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
* Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.
* Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
* It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

well, tomorrow is Haloween! (which i constantly keep spelling wrong apparently)

hope everyone has fun trick-o-treating, partying, pranking, or just being silly!

(as i play the paranoid teenage mother,)
stay safe!

another poem, this one is how you interpret it
note: i may sound paranoid at the moment, but don't take this one either!

im not allowed many things.
because im me, i can only be
a puppet on a steel wire string

everything comes down to the same,
the buzzing in your ear
that's never really there.

they aren't allowed to love me.
i cannot talk to them.
no matter how many times i try to
stitch and hem
they break my work
because they were told.

i truly want to love you.
and be loved by you.
i know it will never be, though
because im not allowed.

no matter how i try,
im always repeating myself.
we all have rules binding us together,
and tearing us apart.

i cannot be pretty
because im not allowed
and with all the talents and gifts
we are so endowed, not one can shine,
it's trapped, never to come
out.

the key was taken away from
me
to where i do not know
the locks have all been
frozen shut
beneath 3 feet of snow

your heart has melted all the
ice,
but still i cannot say,
how i feel about my love
the words still locked away.

i may not be allowed
but i will always try
to be the girl you'll always want
the girl i am inside.

(end of poem)
as you can see, i rarely use correct punctuation. it just happens, but i don't change format. cause it's how i think it flows. hope you enjoy!

so this is the poem i was talking about writing.
note: it is MINE. i worked very hard to make it, so please don't steal it m'kay?

100 words, 100 times
100 stories, 100 rhymes

100 days left to be
100 hours to fast, to free

100 pages, 10 hundred marks
100 years to finish from start

10 thousand thoughts from
100 minds,
to take only a day to find

that special poem,
with 10 hundred page,
in which 100 words
were not saved

to start with 100
and end with none
to burn with flame from
10 hundred suns

to count so high
your mouth will burn,
and it finally ends

100 more lives i have to change
never to be stopped by the
ever-lasting rain

(end of poem)

so tell me what you think (don't be TOO mean) lol
if anyone doesn't understand part of it, put it in the comment and ill try not to confuse you even more

so i just got home from school.

i had a cucumber and tea. (weird snack, but eh) i had to watch the same video in earth science and geography. how the earth was made. facinating.

ive decided that im going to "challenge" the flute whose chair (levels of playing skill) is 1 above mine. on wed. we compete for her chair. i hope i do well!

about the play i mentioned earlier, my friend in the play said he was gonna get someone to pick me up so i can see him perform. good luck slaying the dragon!

nothing interesting overall, i think the highlight of my day was talking to my gay friend about boys. it was interesting to say the least. but i heart him so, is cool!

i still need to know whether i should post my writing on here. tell me!!
happy haloween!

now for the happy? post.

today i got the h1n1 vaccine.

i have illness induced asthma, so piggy flu would hit my chest and i would end up in the hospital on a machine (as my mother puts it) to make a long story short.

why is this good? because i didn't freak out!
i HATE needles, but i didn't do anything but close my eyes.

yay!
good bye piggies!!

im tempted to submit some poetry, but im not sure because is not published, so anyone could take it and make it there's.

comment if you care, (if anyone listens to this...)
^-^