* When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
* Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
* When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
* Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
* Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
* If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
* Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
* The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
* When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
* When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
* Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.