so i just saw like 3 new ppl who are "replacements" for thespammer.
DON'T GOOOO!!1

these children need guidence!

why does she torture me so?
why doesn't she see the blood flowing inside,
or the tears pouring from my heart.
and he
he's just making it worse.
building my dreams
then he pulls them down again.

he sits near me, i sweat
there's nothing i will regret
she sits down, he looks away.
so close,
to coming closer
why can't he see?
im drowning in my own feelings
and there's no one here to save me.

it's a heartless type of love

so i discovered some new math equations that i will remember now

hot water + cuts = burning
soap + cuts = burning
soap + hot water + cuts = noooooo!!

showers = pain for the next couple of days
:(

how can i be so afraid?
nothing has ever felt this way, but i can't help but fear it
what happens when it all falls apart?
what will happen when it's found to be fake?
and what happens if it ends bad.
or worse.
why am i afraid, when it's only the beginning?
there are so many others, but i can't decide.
i am spiraling, and there's no one to stop my cycle.
the wrong impression, the right way.
ive pulled myself in to far this time.
but i never want to leave.
are you afraid?

so tag day was relly sucky.
my group made the most ($475) for the one neighborhood we did. that's good.

me and my friend were running to try to beat the other half of my ground, and i missed the sidewalk.
(its wet outside)
i slipped, fell head first into the sidewalk, smashed my lip, gashed my elbow, bruised my upper leg, (where it had JUST healed from the cut before) cut my nose, and scraped my fingers.
now i have to try to hide it from my mom untill it heals. she didn't notice (akwardly enough) my face, so i think im good. it hurts like hell, but i still have to play the piccolo and flute >.<
i think as long as i hide my lips, ill be fine. everything else just needs a jacket.

tag day just got relly fun ^_^
we made over $1200!!
we have now successfully collected money from everyone in our city! yay!!

so tomorrow, ill be doing tag day, then a football game.
apparently most of the band is taking off since we aren't performing.
ill go anyway ^_^

if you don't know wat tag day is, the short version is we go around our city (yeah, the whole thing)
and we ask people to donate money. then we give them a coupon for our wrapping booth. i always make lots of money, so im relly excited! :D

so i posted a while ago that i was challenging the chair above me in my symphonic band class.
she like NEVER showed up cause she usually skips 1st block (she drives)
well, it was put off for like 2 weeks, so i did it today.
and...I WON!!
so now i am teh 3rd chair.
i was panicking like the WHOLE time, but it sounded better than i thought it would.
1 senior down, 2 to go! ^_^

so today during health, i had a guy on the jv football team tell me that "marching band requires no skill and could never be considered a physical activity" (quotes = what he relly said)
people are so simple minded sometimes, it hurts. there was another girl in marching with me, and we got real pissed, real fast.
i don't normally get angry about things, but making fun of what ive been working on for 2 years makes me angry. for those that don't think that marching could be hard, watch these

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_ivrs5 4Mew&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yGZIMW QNLc&annotation_id=annotation_754204&f eature=iv

marching is different than sports because if people don't show up, it could mess the whole thing up. you can't "replace" a member of a marching band. you can't move your head, you move a certain way, you have to play everything the way your told, and so that if comes out sounding right.

im not saying football sucks, but marching is important too!

sorry for going off like that... ^_^

so i tried to take a quick nap. i think i fell half asleep.
i HATE that.
you're not able to do anything for like an hour but you don't get any less tired!
im debating on whether to ACTUALLY sleep tonite, or if ill do other things...
choices = more confuzzlement >.<

so today i went to the winter guard informational meeting. (sounds important...)

i can now, after never touching a flag, do 3 types of spins successfully!!
i also have bruises to prove it :P
i told my mother i was staying after to film something with one of my friends. she had that "are you filming PORN?!" look on her face (as ALL mothers should :P) but she bought it. i don't know when ill tell her im trying out for winter guard tho...

so i thought my bad luck was continuing when i tried to get a drink from the machine at my school.
dollar in
push button
make rumbling and drink dropping noises
no drink!
so i got another dollar and put it in
now i have 2!
at least i got both!