00:00
00:00
redjokerx
music freak, nothing else

Age 29, Female

Vape store Manager

Virginia

Joined on 10/28/09

Level:
12
Exp Points:
1,470 / 1,600
Exp Rank:
43,667
Vote Power:
5.41 votes
Rank:
Civilian
Global Rank:
> 100,000
Blams:
3
Saves:
24
B/P Bonus:
0%
Whistle:
Normal
Medals:
570

ugh i dare you to try and read all this

Posted by redjokerx - August 13th, 2010


those with emotions just make it harder to hit the ground, im getting a little more or less annoyed with the way things work in this world. why is everything so hard to control? is that the way things are supposed to be? one object stacked on top the other; weaker things below, stronger on top.

i need more time. what time i have is spent by trying to figure out how much ive wasted. ive destroyed over 3 weeks of time doing things i didn't need to be doing. that little clock that keeps track of drained moments continues to tick upwards, even as i type this! because it's not necessary, i could be reading what needs to be read.

this summer has turned out to be filled with more bad than good in it. there are so many things i wanted to do, and tons of people i wished to see! if i ever walk through those double doors again, im almost positive ill start to cry.

i wonder how many people will take one look at this and think, "this is to long, ill just post something random at the bottom." either way, i suppose.

there's another thing ive wondered. people who make an attempt at suicide sometimes leave a sort of escape rope, such as calling someone before they do it, leaving texts, posting something, and then going very slowly about making their preparations. but ive thought back to a moment from this fall, and i wondered where THAT escape rope was. from what i can tell, there wasn't any. what made them stop?

something changed in that person after that night, i cant quite put my finger on it, but it's almost like part of them DID jump, like part of them was run over, but no one could see, so they were left to bleed on the street.

all in all i think that this world has no further use for something like this

semper ama


Comments

To me it sounds like your depressed because your summer sucks

if that was the reason, i would have said that :P

omtish

I read it all :). You ok mate? If you need somebody to talk to I'll be on AIM.

kill the timezones! kill them dead! i can only get on when it's super late over there XP

that song was...repetitive and a little boring

try not to worry about it sweetie.

do what i do, dont think for a whole day, and just float around and do whatever.

does wonders for the mind.

i cant not think

Those with emotions just make it harder to hit the ground, im getting a little more or less annoyed with the way things work in this world (Learn to be above it). Why is everything so hard to control? (Everything is more than you.) is that the way things are supposed to be (yes)? one object stacked on top the other; weaker things below, stronger on top(...somethimes).

i need more time (we all do). what time i have is spent by trying to figure out how much ive wasted. ive destroyed over 3 weeks of time doing things i didn't need to be doing (make a list so that next summer you can be more, or even in the winter). that little clock that keeps track of drained moments continues to tick upwards, even as i type this (nothing can stop time, it is a powerful ally)! because it's not necessary, i could be reading what needs to be read (so you have a summer reading assignment too? <a href="http://classiclit.about.com/cs/productreviews/fr/aafpr_howtoread.htm">http://classiclit.about.com/cs/produc treviews/fr/aafpr_howtoread.htm</a> ).

this summer has turned out to be filled with more bad than good in it
(you can't always control it). there are so many things i wanted to do, and tons of people i wished to see (we all had more to do this summer)! if i ever walk through those double doors again, im almost positive ill start to cry (Now is the time to shape your future, why do you cry little one?).

i wonder how many people will take one look at this and think, "this is to long, ill just post something random at the bottom." either way, i suppose.
(your thoughts are being cared for right now.)

there's another thing ive wondered(hm?). people who make an attempt at suicide sometimes leave a sort of escape rope, such as calling someone before they do it, leaving texts, posting something, and then going very slowly about making their preparations (you cannot stop death, so why end it now?). but ive thought back to a moment from this fall, and i wondered where THAT escape rope was. from what i can tell, there wasn't any. what made them stop?
(the weight to live was more than to die)

something changed in that person after that night, i cant quite put my finger on it, but it's almost like part of them DID jump, like part of them was run over, but no one could see, so they were left to bleed on the street.
(those who live for nothing, are nothing)

all in all i think that this world has no further use for something like this
(they do not. Become more and the people around you will change)

semper ama

To all things come a beginning, and to all things come an end.
The sooner you maser this, the more you will feel right with yourself.
The world repeats itself so anything is nothing new.

vita specto vos

i honestly cant remember what i just read, except for a few things,

the "weight to live" was a negative number, there was nothing holding them back, so what was stopping them? literally, when this person can swim, and swim better than most, and yet they started to drown. what threw out a line?

also, this person in particular has little to "live for" if that's what you can call what they're doing. i have a theory of why they stopped, and that's because this person is so obsessed with doing what is considered "normal" (minus some outbursts here and there) that what stopped them could be something as simple as "i have a competition on saturday".

originally the word at the end (this) was something different, but i changed it, so as to keep the anonymity of the situation.

NOTE: i dont speak latin

I made a conversation out of your post.

i see what you did there

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GE-oSwRxQs&feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GE-oS wRxQs&feature=related</a>

All signs point to you, fact or fiction you never knew. Extend the hand to feel the pain, heal the wounds to feel the shame.

Cold eyes, empty shell. Reliving your own inner hell, like a bird with broken wings, held back from so many things.

The promises always broken, left up to you I'm unspoken. Pull the strings that make you move, every thought you disapprove.

Refuse, reject, in silence reflect. Lose all control, inside your dead soul. Break through the wall, feel your skin crawl. Lies, emotions, feel the pain you will live it all again.

just from the first 37 seconds of this song, i can tell that it's INFINITELY better than the other song. i like this one

I hate time zones too lol

i think it should be the same time everywhere, except it would be dark at lunch time in some places :3

another much better song! i like this one alot

then think about something happy and cheerful.

like muffins

or the fun of being outside for 5 hours a day, finally i get to see some light, though id prefer it to be moonlight

*Sigh* Its against human nature to commit suicide, you can only do it if you have a mental illness.

or you're depressed. you dont have to have a mental illness, it's also in human nature to have extreme swings of emotion

EBM is a pretty good musical style, but it still pretty much "underground", rarely having the attention it deserves, but this is not that bad, at least it keeps safe from trash trends shitting on the style

great songs

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI1Em3rQz3E">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI1Em3 rQz3E</a>

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO1Bpz0m6cQ&feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO1Bpz 0m6cQ&feature=related</a>

^
|

I don't recommend listening this second one when sad, his songs are rather depressive

sorry
<a href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/what-is-depression-if-not-a-mental-illness/">http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/what -is-depression-if-not-a-mental-illnes s/</a>

my brother is bi-polar, and when i said "depressed" i didn't mean the "i have to take pills so that i dont beat myself" sort of depressed, i was just using it as a word to mean sadder than usual. sorry i didn't clarify

...if you can't accept that, then you will have to accept that the person just fu@# sucks at suicide.

no, there was some thought there, and it wasn't the inability to do it, they were completely willing

Then you know the answer, and don't have to ask me.
Sorry I don't want to play twenty questions right now, maybe later lol.

Yeah i know Muffins are really good!

yuuuummm muffins